#RRBC SPRINGTIME #BOOK & #BLOG BLOCK PARTY: You’re a Bad #Parent…

…or maybe you’re not!

RRBC Badges (2)

Hi and “WELCOME” to RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB’S SPRINGTIME BOOK & BLOG BLOCK PARTY at ASK THE GOOD MOMMY!  Location:  Shreveport, LA.

# of Winners for this stop:  2

Here’s What I’m Giving Away Today:

(1) $15.00 Amazon Gift Card

(1) e-book copy of “THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS

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I know, the pic above is hilarious, but my daughters sent this to me!  Huge hint, you think?

I am so tired and just so busy that I thought I’d offer you a re-blog (to make things easier for me and to also engage those who hadn’t seen this post yet).

Many often wonder what separates a bad parent from a good parent.  In my mind, a very thin line is all.  But, I’m going to give you my 5 Top Tips of Good Parenting and if you can’t handle these, then we’re going to have to ask you to return your PARENTING LICENSE.  (Oh, I forgot, the law doesn’t require those for this very important job, although they should).  Here goes:

5 TOP TIPS FOR  PARENTING TEENS:

*BE A GOOD LISTENER.  Do you ever respond to your child with those horrible words your own parents used to throw at you…“Because I said so?”  The memories of those words haunt me still today.  I hated hearing (my mom) say that, and boy, did she say it often.  As a parent now, I have realized (thanks to my teenager who keeps me grounded) that “Because I said so,”  is not a response, nor is it a proper response.  When our kids come to us with their issues or questions and concerns, they are looking for solid answers from the people they are taught to trust, respect (and listen to) the most…their parents.  Learn to listen intently to their concerns, so that you are fully able to form a positive, clear, intelligent response;  one that will lead them in the right direction and not drive them into the arms of others, whose responses may not be in their best interest;

*AIM TO BE THEIR BEST PARENT…NOT THEIR BEST FRIEND.  Many parents spend so much time trying to be their kid’s best friend, that they lose sight of their real position, that of Parent.  Yes, we want our kids to think we’re “cool” and that we understand all they’re going thru, etc., and that’s OK.  But, what happens when you have to step out of BEST FRIEND mode and guide them in the right direction…which you can only do in BEST PARENT mode?  What do you do then?  You see, your kid’s friends are their age and they all have the same issues.  And, because they have the same issues, if they are advising each other, it’s like the blind leading the blind.  I remember some of the kids who grew up with my daughters, the ones who didn’t have traditional parents, the ones whose parents partied with them and drank with them, and allowed them “too much freedom.”  I would often hear them say to my daughters, “I wish I had a mom like that,”  or “I wish my mom was like your mom.”  You see, no matter how often they say that “we’re not cool,”  or “we just don’t understand,”  they really do want us in PARENT MODE with them.  It is only in that mode that they feel protected by us…safe. If you make it a habit to always “stay in your lane” (as the kids put it), the Parenting Lane, that is, then you will nurture the relationship as it should be.  Believe me, you have plenty of time to become their BEST FRIEND.  My timetable says that time should be rolling around pretty quickly, when they are adults, and maybe with kids of their own;

*ALWAYS REMAIN CALM.  Being a good listener is the best way to develop great rapport with your kids.  When your kids come to you for advice, no matter the topic (boys, girls, sex, relationships, drugs, etc.) listen to them and fully take in what they are communicating to you.  Your response to what they are sharing, is the make or break as to how they will handle their situations.  Don’t interrupt while they’re speaking, think before you respond, and above all else, remember that yelling is never the answer.  Don’t become part of their storm.  Be their calm, so that when their storm hits, their “emergency kit” will be filled with all the right tools to weather it;

*MODEL WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO AND BECOME.  Television, radio, social media and even friends at times, offer such negative influences that you want to remove it all from your child’s world.  I’ve been there myself, where I’ve heard of a profanity-laced TV show or one filled with too much kissing and ‘other stuff,’ that I’ve said to my kids “Nope, we won’t be watching that.”   That being said, I allowed my wonderful kids to watch shows like SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS and THE SIMPSONS, which other parents forbade in their homes.   Because my daughters were taught the difference between right and wrong from the very beginning and consistently, I wasn’t the least bit worried about them picking up any bad habits from these shows, but, I did appreciate the fact that there was such humor in the shows, that my children, with us, appreciated the laughs.  We love “funnies” in our home, so these were shows we enjoyed together.  Actually, we all still watch SPONGEBOB, even today.  I’ve said all this to say that, WE modeled what we wanted them to become.  Profanity is not allowed in our home, we don’t drink or smoke, we have open and ‘honest’ discussions, and we treat each other and those outside our home, with the utmost of kindness and respect.  We not only talked the talk, we walked the walk and that is what you should do, as a good parent;

*LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THEM, UNCONDITIONALLY.  I’ve heard parents say that sometimes, the poor behavior of their children makes them hard to love.  Although I’ve never felt this emotion, I’ve seen some kids who have put their parents thru the ringer, so I can definitely believe it.  I recently heard of a book called  HOW TO HUG A PORCUPINE and to my understanding, the premise of the book is that kids in their formative tween and full teen years, don’t really welcome the loving hugs and attention that they craved as babies and toddlers.  My daughters get so many hugs, kisses and so much love daily, that they probably want to run in the other direction when they see me coming towards them.  And, although they pretend as if they don’t like it, they really do.  I know this because when my oldest was away at college, she once said, “Believe it or not, I miss you kissing me all the time.”  My youngest said to me recently, “I’m going to miss sitting on your lap and snuggling with you when I wake each morn and before I go to bed at night.”  See, proof they like it!  So, go on, hug your porcupines!  They secretly love you doing so and don’t worry, their pines aren’t that prickly.

TGMG on BN counter med

Do you have some great parenting tips to share? Please share your comments below.  You know how much we like those!  I would also ask that you share this page onto all your social medium forums.  Thanks for dropping by and I hope to see you along the tour tomorrow!

Are you not a member of the RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB yet?  Well, why the heck not?  What is wrong with you???  LOL!  We’d love for you to join us!

 

 

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60 thoughts on “#RRBC SPRINGTIME #BOOK & #BLOG BLOCK PARTY: You’re a Bad #Parent…

  1. Sorry so late. I thought a notice would be sent when the list was ready. Just thought to look on the whole site list instead of the RRBC instruction page. But here now and hope you can take a well earned rest now.Loved this repost.

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  2. Great stop! Sorry I’m late…Agree with the above article 100%, especially the part about aiming to be a great parent and not their best friend. The relationship may have characteristics inherent to a friendship, but I’ve never seen it work out well when friends is the goal.

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  3. I always enjoy reading your advice and posts! I’m not a parent yet, but I always take your words to heart and make a mental note. 🙂 Thanks for sharing & inspiring!!!

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  4. I know – I’m late, (so much to do, so little time to do it in – I feel your pain, Nonnie!) but I made it at last! 🙂 I love the home mom vs public mom visual! 🙂 Chihuahuas have to be one of toughest breeds of pooch, even though they’re so tiny. Better a tough little dynamo for a parent than one who’s all smiles on the surface and no substance underneath… 😉

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  5. Nonnie, that was a great post! Sadly, I was not allowed to raise my oldest daughter, but I have done my best to set a positive example for my seeing eye son, & the rest of my heathen kids. They’re all fantastic peoole, so I guess I did okay. 😃

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  6. Hi, Nonnie. Such good advice and I think your tips are important. I have raised two fabulous daughters and can tell you the points you make are dead on. I am so proud of both and feel blessed to be able to say I had a hand in helping them become what they are today.

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  7. Great post. This not only applies to moms, but to teachers as well. Having taught K-high school music in the inner city of Chicago, I found humor works better than almost anything.I especially liked remain calm (not so easy to do) be a good listener and model behavior. Those are also tried and true teaching and modifying behaviors in students. Thanks for this post.

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  8. Wish I had your advice when my kids were young. Some I followed naturally, but I’ve made too many mistakes along the way. I have 2 sons – 30 and 27. One has special needs and is actually becoming more difficult to work with, but through classes and training I am navigating being the best mom possible. All your advice applies. I love SpongeBob and will watch all by myself, and I loved your expression “hug a porcupine” perfect!

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  9. A marvelous post, Nonnie. My daughter (now 36 ) my grandson (Almost 5) and I have just shared our ‘ritual’ breakfast together. We mapped out our ‘plan of attack’ for the day. I watched her with her own child, I listened, and I smiled. Echoes of my own words bounced off this old heart. Parenting is a privilege, a guardianship, and an honor … it should never be just a ‘right!’

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  10. These are FIVE awesome solid parenting tips that every young expectant parents should not only read, but memorize! Your daughters definitely have a great sense of humor. Love the doggie pics. 🙂 We can all look back and see mistakes we think we made when raising our children, but when they turn out to be amazing adults, I guess we did something right along the way. Love this and thank you for sharing! Great stop along our Springtime Book and Blog Block Party tour! Hugs!

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  11. I love this, Nonnie! My best advice is use humor whenever you can. When my (young) boys fought, I would sit them in chairs across from each other until they made up. If they just wouldn’t, I would make them write poems about each other, which they did, though sometimes they weren’t nice poems, lol. When they read them aloud, it was impossible to keep a straight face. Often it was so funny, we’d look forward to the next fight.

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  12. Oh my, Nonnie! Where were you when I was raising my kids?! We need your book in every home in America! I bet there would be a change that would be palpable! Thank you for telling it like it really is!

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  13. Hi Nonnie! Happy Spring! Love the doggie pics – so trure advice about teens and parenting. My wife and I had four – so we know from whence you speak.

    Good luck with the blog tour – best to all – MikeL

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  14. I’m certainly glad to be out of the parenting business. Try raising them on a boat, which we did for the first five years…not year round at least. Grandkids are a lot easier. Our three kids turned out pretty damn good though. The only problem is they now live a little too far away, but in the state anyway.

    I hope you have a bestseller on you hands, Nonnie, with your parenting guide. The world certainly needs it I believe. I’m old school, but seems like too many kids these days have had no parenting school.

    Thanks for being you, Nonnie. I’ve read some of your stuff and I believe we see eye to eye on a few things at least. I’m enjoying being a member of #RRBC and look forward to a long relationship with the club.

    Love the dogs! Great Party!!

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  15. The not yelling part is so hard when it comes to two of my teenagers. They are growing up and some of the things they come to me with makes me want to scream at them “no no no you are too young”. Yet the reality is that they are not babies and they are not too young to be curious and to have questions. I am grateful when they were 13 and 14 and coming to me with these questions that I actually suppressed my Mommy urge to yell and actually listened and spoke honestly with them. Now one is 15 and one will be an adult in a couple months (boy where did the time go) and they come to me with everything. Somethings I admit I do not want to hear but at the same time so grateful they trust me to listen and to offer sound advice. I also learned through listening to them about their views on topics such as sex and drugs and other worldly issues that they actually have put intelligent thoughts into these subjects. If only these two boys knew just what went through my head when they come to me, they might not talk so honestly with me. But at least I kept those thoughts in my head and never let them see me freak out. Hopefully, when my two younger kids start coming into that age I can maintain the same ability to not let the freak out moments show and allow them to feel like it is alright to come talk openly with mom about anything.

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  16. Positively love the dog pics! I think your daughters have a wonderful sense of humor. 🙂
    Parents are so critical to our development, growth and outlook on life. I had a wonderful relationship with mine throughout my life. I still miss them both every day and cherish all they did for me.
    Thanks for the post, Nonnie!

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    • Mae, to be a fly on the wall in my house, would be a treasure none would ever forget! It is pure hilarity here. These two daughters of mine, are little monsters (mind you, one is closer to 30 than not and the other is a young adult on her way to college)…but, I think by now, the entire world knows how much I love these little monsters. (Monsters translated here = amazing human beings!)

      So glad you had a wonderful relationship with your parents. That tends to lend a hand in defining the people we turn out to be. Kudos to your parents, bless their souls!

      Thanks, Mae!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Charles, I think that would apply to most of us…we just didn’t see it then, or understand their decisions. We now know that they were in our best interest. Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

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  17. Well, Nonnie, you also made it easy for me to just update my old comment. It seems that I am always in California with my grandkids at this time of the year. It is a joy to watch them grow. 🙂 The youngest is so full of antics, that I have started writing short children’s stories based on him. 😀

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  18. It is always good to revisit a helpful post containing gems of wisdom about our most important role once we have children. Our society demands we take a qualifying course before we drive a car, and there are zillions of legal hoops to jump through before we can foster or adopt kids, but not for procreating our own or raising them! That sounds like a blog… Nonnie? Thanks for the great post, Nonnie!

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  19. Hugs definitely are the best thing and you’re right they do love it, maybe just not when their friends are around. 🙂 I think the other thing is to share about your journey. The more they know you’ve been through it and get it the more they will open up as well. Which is where the listening is so important. Good advice. Thanks for sharing.

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    • D. E. so glad that you got something out of this, then. But, you know, you don’t have to actually bear children of your own womb to parent. Hopefully you have nieces, nephews or even god-children to share this love on. Thanks!

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  20. These are such great pieces of advice. As a middle school teacher, I sometimes get frustrated with the lack of good parenting that is taking place. Too many parents want to be their children’s friends instead of being parents. Too many of them have poor communication skills. Too many parents give their children devices and expect the device to entertain their children instead of asking the time to listen and love their children.

    I will share this post with my people. The more we send this message out there, the better the opportunity we have of inspiring parents to become better parents. 😊

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    • Yvette, teachers are the first ones to notice who’s being parented correctly and who’s not. Although I wish grand love for every child in this world, I do realize that there are many who never receive one iota of it. Yvette, I wish upon you encounters those who are lacking, because you obviously would be a great influence upon them. Thanks for stopping by!

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  21. “AIM TO BE THEIR BEST PARENT…NOT THEIR BEST FRIEND”
    This resounds with me. So many times I wanted to be their friend, but I just couldn’t do it! In their words, “We ALWAYS have to be the first ones home! … We can’t do ANYTHING!” I felt sorry for them, but I knew That I knew best! Thanks Nonnie!

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  22. The part where parents try to be their kids’ best friend is something I witnessed when I met my husband. We were both previously married and so we have children. He and his ex tried to be friends to their child and she was begging for them to really care about her through her obnoxious behavior. They did care but when you parent like that, children don’t feel like you really care. Needless to say, because she did pretty much what she wanted some of what she did was not acceptable to me. I raised my child like a mother should. On occasion I got down to my child’s level but I knew when to turn it off and my husband admired that about me. My son and his stepsister have issues today because he felt that she did not respect me or our family and she also did some rotten things to him. He was taught that family should stick together and respect each other. He no longer has her in his life. I pray that things will work out but not optimistic. My point is like NJ says, that kind of parenting has negative consequences. As smart as my husband is, he was completely clueless in parenting. My advice if you are going into a blended family is to find out what your spouse’s customs, like and dislikes are because they may be compatible or incompatible with yours. My stepdaughter and I get alone well today, because she knows where her place is but the damage was done.

    Nice topic Nonnie.

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  23. My fur babies like all this too – except the bits where I don’t listen to them when they’re saying they’re really hungry… 😛 I think they’re grateful for that when it comes to walkies and ball chasing time though, because otherwise they’d be the size of St. Bernards and they’re only spaniels! 😉
    Seriously, this is almost no-brainer advice that all loving parents can embrace and live with.

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  24. My parenting days may be over, but my grandparenting days are in full swing. I believe you’re never too old to learn, so I’m happy to listen to the mommy with the almost perfect daughters. Really solid advice here and very well said! Thanks, Nonnie!

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  25. Great advice and glad to see I’m doing a few things right! My oldest became a teenager this year and I want to always be a good place to go with any questions. I have a few friends that completely freak-out/forbid/stress/have bad reactions anytime one of their children come to them with something they heard about at school. I keep telling them they need to be calmer and listen, don’t immediately freak out and start making rules and taking away their freedom because eventually they will stop talking to you. They’ll seek all their answers from their peers…yikes!

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  26. Nonnie, this is your “Good Mommies’ Guide… all over again. I suppose you could never over emphasize it. You are either a good parent or not, and it is only by God’s grace that one gets it right.I am a fairly good parent too, especially now that I am co-parenting my grand-kids. I don’t see any wrong, and keep my mouth shut. 🙂

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