Tag Archive | Kids

#RRBC SPRINGTIME #BOOK & #BLOG BLOCK PARTY: You’re a Bad #Parent…

…or maybe you’re not!

RRBC Badges (2)

Hi and “WELCOME” to RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB’S SPRINGTIME BOOK & BLOG BLOCK PARTY at ASK THE GOOD MOMMY!  Location:  Shreveport, LA.

# of Winners for this stop:  2

Here’s What I’m Giving Away Today:

(1) $15.00 Amazon Gift Card

(1) e-book copy of “THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS

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I know, the pic above is hilarious, but my daughters sent this to me!  Huge hint, you think?

I am so tired and just so busy that I thought I’d offer you a re-blog (to make things easier for me and to also engage those who hadn’t seen this post yet).

Many often wonder what separates a bad parent from a good parent.  In my mind, a very thin line is all.  But, I’m going to give you my 5 Top Tips of Good Parenting and if you can’t handle these, then we’re going to have to ask you to return your PARENTING LICENSE.  (Oh, I forgot, the law doesn’t require those for this very important job, although they should).  Here goes:

5 TOP TIPS FOR  PARENTING TEENS:

*BE A GOOD LISTENER.  Do you ever respond to your child with those horrible words your own parents used to throw at you…“Because I said so?”  The memories of those words haunt me still today.  I hated hearing (my mom) say that, and boy, did she say it often.  As a parent now, I have realized (thanks to my teenager who keeps me grounded) that “Because I said so,”  is not a response, nor is it a proper response.  When our kids come to us with their issues or questions and concerns, they are looking for solid answers from the people they are taught to trust, respect (and listen to) the most…their parents.  Learn to listen intently to their concerns, so that you are fully able to form a positive, clear, intelligent response;  one that will lead them in the right direction and not drive them into the arms of others, whose responses may not be in their best interest;

*AIM TO BE THEIR BEST PARENT…NOT THEIR BEST FRIEND.  Many parents spend so much time trying to be their kid’s best friend, that they lose sight of their real position, that of Parent.  Yes, we want our kids to think we’re “cool” and that we understand all they’re going thru, etc., and that’s OK.  But, what happens when you have to step out of BEST FRIEND mode and guide them in the right direction…which you can only do in BEST PARENT mode?  What do you do then?  You see, your kid’s friends are their age and they all have the same issues.  And, because they have the same issues, if they are advising each other, it’s like the blind leading the blind.  I remember some of the kids who grew up with my daughters, the ones who didn’t have traditional parents, the ones whose parents partied with them and drank with them, and allowed them “too much freedom.”  I would often hear them say to my daughters, “I wish I had a mom like that,”  or “I wish my mom was like your mom.”  You see, no matter how often they say that “we’re not cool,”  or “we just don’t understand,”  they really do want us in PARENT MODE with them.  It is only in that mode that they feel protected by us…safe. If you make it a habit to always “stay in your lane” (as the kids put it), the Parenting Lane, that is, then you will nurture the relationship as it should be.  Believe me, you have plenty of time to become their BEST FRIEND.  My timetable says that time should be rolling around pretty quickly, when they are adults, and maybe with kids of their own;

*ALWAYS REMAIN CALM.  Being a good listener is the best way to develop great rapport with your kids.  When your kids come to you for advice, no matter the topic (boys, girls, sex, relationships, drugs, etc.) listen to them and fully take in what they are communicating to you.  Your response to what they are sharing, is the make or break as to how they will handle their situations.  Don’t interrupt while they’re speaking, think before you respond, and above all else, remember that yelling is never the answer.  Don’t become part of their storm.  Be their calm, so that when their storm hits, their “emergency kit” will be filled with all the right tools to weather it;

*MODEL WHAT YOU WANT THEM TO DO AND BECOME.  Television, radio, social media and even friends at times, offer such negative influences that you want to remove it all from your child’s world.  I’ve been there myself, where I’ve heard of a profanity-laced TV show or one filled with too much kissing and ‘other stuff,’ that I’ve said to my kids “Nope, we won’t be watching that.”   That being said, I allowed my wonderful kids to watch shows like SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS and THE SIMPSONS, which other parents forbade in their homes.   Because my daughters were taught the difference between right and wrong from the very beginning and consistently, I wasn’t the least bit worried about them picking up any bad habits from these shows, but, I did appreciate the fact that there was such humor in the shows, that my children, with us, appreciated the laughs.  We love “funnies” in our home, so these were shows we enjoyed together.  Actually, we all still watch SPONGEBOB, even today.  I’ve said all this to say that, WE modeled what we wanted them to become.  Profanity is not allowed in our home, we don’t drink or smoke, we have open and ‘honest’ discussions, and we treat each other and those outside our home, with the utmost of kindness and respect.  We not only talked the talk, we walked the walk and that is what you should do, as a good parent;

*LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THEM, UNCONDITIONALLY.  I’ve heard parents say that sometimes, the poor behavior of their children makes them hard to love.  Although I’ve never felt this emotion, I’ve seen some kids who have put their parents thru the ringer, so I can definitely believe it.  I recently heard of a book called  HOW TO HUG A PORCUPINE and to my understanding, the premise of the book is that kids in their formative tween and full teen years, don’t really welcome the loving hugs and attention that they craved as babies and toddlers.  My daughters get so many hugs, kisses and so much love daily, that they probably want to run in the other direction when they see me coming towards them.  And, although they pretend as if they don’t like it, they really do.  I know this because when my oldest was away at college, she once said, “Believe it or not, I miss you kissing me all the time.”  My youngest said to me recently, “I’m going to miss sitting on your lap and snuggling with you when I wake each morn and before I go to bed at night.”  See, proof they like it!  So, go on, hug your porcupines!  They secretly love you doing so and don’t worry, their pines aren’t that prickly.

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Do you have some great parenting tips to share? Please share your comments below.  You know how much we like those!  I would also ask that you share this page onto all your social medium forums.  Thanks for dropping by and I hope to see you along the tour tomorrow!

Are you not a member of the RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB yet?  Well, why the heck not?  What is wrong with you???  LOL!  We’d love for you to join us!

 

 

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So, Think I’m Paranoid Now? #RRBC #Parenting

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With all of the negativity and racial unrest going on in the world lately, taking up space in every little corner of our lives, I somehow failed to catch a story about a recent attempted abduction of a child.

Now, when I hear about lax-parenting or parents who allow their kids to run off here and there and everywhere without supervision, etc., I say “People steal kids and I don’t want anyone stealing my beautiful babies so I keep a very close eye on them.” Is there laughter after folks hear me saying that “people steal kids?” Of course!  And, tons of it;  as if it is so unfathomable that children can be stolen, just like cars or other replaceable things.  Well, please take a close look at the footage below (and don’t blink, because you just might miss something) and then we’ll talk…

 

I love my daughters with a love that is truly indescribable, and admittedly, I like to keep them close, because then I know they’re safe.  I watch my daughter walk to her car when she’s getting ready to leave for work or school;  even though she parks inside of our garage, I want to know that she’s getting out of the car and walking into the house, and if I’m dropping my youngest at work, I wait for her to get completely inside the building before I pull away.

So many parents have said to me that “You can’t watch them all the time,” or “You have to let them go off and do other things away from you.” Although I agree with these at times, I am still from the thought process that too many parents, are just a little too lax in their parenting.

Too much is happening in the world today for us to not keep a very watchful eye on the ones we love the most, especially our innocent babies. In the blink of an eye, our children are gone, and this applies more to just the fact that they are getting ready to leave for college.

I am in no way saying that this mom was at fault for what happened to her child, although knowing me the way that I do, my baby, who stands 6’3 inches tall and is almost an adult, would have been standing right next to me in line, and she would have been standing on the side farthest away from the door.  I am in no way blind to the fact that there are real “crazies” in this world.   #Smart #NotParanoid.  I am just sharing the proof that’s clearly swimming around in the pudding…people really do “steal” children!

Believe me now?

Now We’re Putting #Disrespect On A Pedestal? #RRBC

OK, so the latest nonsense in this no-parenting Parenting, which is ringing loudly in my ears and almost causing me to go deaf, is the theory  (and I quote) that “Kids who talk back, become more successful adults.”  Well, this “nonsense” infuriates me so much, that lots of choice words come to mind each time I read that line, but, since this is a kid-friendly blog, I will keep them to myself.

It should come as no surprise to all who have read my parenting guide, “THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS…100 Tips On Raising Daughters Everyone Can’t Help But Love”

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…that I don’t agree with this “nonsense” at all.  (I will continue to refer to it as nonsense, by the way, as that’s exactly what it is).

“Kids talking back is a perennial complaint of parents,” states an article that I read on Yahoo recently.  Well, that complaint is valid, and kudos to those parents who are upset about this and not embracing the “nonsense.”

This Yahoo article quotes the experts who say that, “This behavior is developmentally healthy for kids.”  I would have to disagree and say that, as an expert, “This behavior in my home would be extremely unhealthy and could prove to be detrimental to a kid’s teeth.” (Yes, I said it!)  I mean, kids do still lose their teeth by methods that aren’t traditionally used in dentist’ offices, right?

My very own teenager, who, when I shared this theory and article with her, looked at me and said:  “Mommy, that’s just an excuse for certain parents to let their kids get away with talking back to them because they don’t want to take the time, or they don’t know how to properly discipline them.”  (#ProudMommyOnBoardHere!  As they say, “From the mouths of babes.”)  Even she, as a child, understands this point, so, why can’t people twice and three times her age get it?

I have two of the most successful daughters in all the world.  My teenager is on track to graduating Magna Cum Laude in her school;  she’s a literal genius (smarter than a whip and sharper than many adults I know);  she’s a phenomenal athlete,  and she’s honest and uberly respectful.  Never talked back a day in her life!

Then, there’s my adult daughter:  on her way to getting her two masters degrees, busy as a bee in very constructive ventures, highly sought after by every employable agency in her field, doesn’t sleep around with every Tom, Dick and Harry (YES! An adult Lady who still has her virginity…go figure), and uberly, uberly respectful.  Never talked back a day in her life!  Never used a profane word in her life!  Yet, out of all her adult counterparts who are her age or older, I can’t name one who is as successful as she is.  I can’t name one who has a reputation like she does.  I can’t put my finger on one who is as trusted and respected as she is.

And then, there are their parents, my husband and I…successful business owners, highly regarded in our community, and yet, neither one of us ever talked back to our parents…we dared not!

Are we still going with what these experts say?  Has anyone heard of the entitled kid from Dallas, Texas with “Affluenza” Disease? (What a joke).  You know, the one who killed four people while driving drunk and was then only given a slap on the wrist (probation)? The one who then spit in the face of the same justice system who gave him that slap on the wrist and fled the country to avoid charges after he violated that probation?  The same one whose mom, when asked how she disciplined him when he acted up (talked back), said she took his toys and games away.  Really?  That’s ALL you did?  Hmmm…no wonder.  I would stake the life of everyone that I hold dear that he talked back!  And probably was using those choice words I withheld above by the time he was 2 years old and could mouth them!  I think we should start measuring success by more than just the size of our bank accounts.

So, I’m sure you all can see why I’m going to have to agree with my teenager, who says that this “nonsense” is just another excuse for certain parents to get away with raising their kids improperly, OR, not even raising them at all.  The sad part about all of this “nonsense,” is that these same kids who are being allowed to talk back, in hopes that they will become more successful in their adult lives, are being set up to fall into a few (sometimes deadly) traps:

*What do you think is going to happen when they are in daycare or after-school care with people who have low tolerance for kids who talk back or disobey?

*What do you think is going to happen when they’re in classrooms at school with teachers who have zero tolerance for kids who talk back or disobey?

*Lastly, what do you think is going to happen when they are stopped by a law enforcement officer who has the power to strip them of every right they have, on the spot, just because you allowed them to “mouth off” to you?

We need to remember, that what we allow in our homes, is not necessarily going to go over well outside of our home. Then, we need to also keep in the forefront of our minds, that everyone isn’t in love with our kids the way we are.  And lastly, never forget, that evil sometimes walks the earth day and night, in the form of daycare workers, teachers, and law enforcement officers.  So, I would advise you to teach your kids to be respectful, manner-able, hardworking, and driven Go-getters.  In my eyes, all signs that they are properly armed with the tools they’ll need to become successful adults.

My beautiful daughters have never been spanked, cussed at, berated or made to feel anything but the most staggering kind of love in all the world, yet, I am a firm believer in discipline, teaching kids right from wrong, and teaching respect, manners and accountability.  I am, because it’s the way I was raised.  I am, because I looked around this earth and saw what was being “bred” to walk and rule our land, and I refused to bring more of that “mess” into the world.  I am, because I know that we can do better as a society and as Parents.

My friends laugh when I see kids in the store throwing fits and tantrums, talking back, or stories on television, such as this one about the Affluenza Disease, and I shake my head and say:  “God gave me what he knew I wouldn’t strangle.”  It’s funny, but I do believe it’s true.

So, these are the kinds of kids that I have:

1Happy Daughter

Because the other kind…

1Mom yelling at daughter

…wouldn’t last one second in my home!

My latest quote: 

“I’m not being judgmental, but you’re not parenting properly.”  ~ NJ Original

Again, “YES, I SAID IT!”

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…and I didn’t bite my tongue or stutter when I did!

“Teach and discipline your kids properly, before the world and law enforcement steps in to do it for you.  Unfortunately, you might not like the lessons they have in store for your child!

~ Nonnie Jules

So, do tell, what is your take on this style of parenting?  Are/Were your kids allowed to talk back?  Do you think success is only measured by how much money is in someone’s bank account?  C’mon, be honest.  We don’t judge here.

Welcome AUTHOR, NICHOLAS ROSSIS & The Runaway Smile Blog Tour!

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Hello, everyone and welcome to ASK THE GOOD MOMMY!  Today, I have nothing to share, but I’m so pleased to have a fellow author, co-worker and friend here…who does!  Author, Nicholas Rossis is on a blog tour for his latest release, THE RUNAWAY SMILE.  It’s an awesome read for you to share with your kids and that’s why we’re so happy he’s introducing it to us, aren’t we?  Because here, we’re all about kids and parenting.  Now, with as much fanfare as we can muster, let’s all give it up for Nicholas Rossisssssss!!!!!!!!

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MY ILLUSTRATOR FRIEND

Writing a children’s book has some unique challenges. For example, how to choose the illustrator. This person will have to share your vision and be able to paint the images in your head.

In my case, my childhood friend Dimitris Fousekis is as much the creator of my children’s book, Runaway Smile, as I am. In fact, the book started out as a silly poem that I was playing with in my head (you can read the final version of it at the end of the book). One day, back in 2012, I was having him over for lunch. He’s a professional illustrator and liked the poem so much, that he suggested we turn it into a children’s book. This was before I decided to become an author, and Pearseus had not even been conceived, so I was intrigued by the idea.

The book was written by me, but I used several ideas that had come up during our conversations. We then read through it together, improving it and coming up with gags and ideas for illustrations. Obviously, everything has to be approved by our pets, as you can see by the photo.

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If you want to see what we came up with, you can read Runaway Smile, online for free!

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Book Blurb:

“I woke up this morning and I had lost my smile and it wasn’t my fault and I looked everywhere and it was gone. Then I met a workman and a king and the best salesman in the world and a clown and no-one wanted to give me theirs. At school, I asked Miss to give me hers, but she gave us a pop quiz instead, and then no-one was smiling and…”

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From the blog of Nicholas C. Rossis, author of science fiction, the Pearseus epic fantasy series and children’s books…

A little boy wakes up in the morning and realizes he has lost his smile. After spending the entire day trying to find it, he learns the truth behind smiles: the only real smiles are the shared ones.

Contact Information

I’m all around the Internet, but the best place to find me would be my blog, http://nicholasrossis.me/.

Anyone interested in my books can check them out on Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Nicholas-C.-Rossis/e/B00FXXIBZA/

Also, people can read for free both Pearseus: Schism, on Goodreads and
Runaway Smile on my blog: http://nicholasrossis.me/childrens-books/

Other places to connect with me include

• Twitter – www.twitter.com/Nicholas_Rossis
• Google+ – https://plus.google.com/+NicholasRossis and
• Facebook – www.facebook.com/NicholasCRossis

Brief Bio:

Avid reader. Web developer. Architect by training, holder of a PhD in Digital Architecture from the University of Edinburgh. Most importantly, author.

Nicholas loves to write. He has published Runaway Smile, a children’s book, and the Amazon best-selling epic fantasy series, Pearseus. The fourth book in the series is currently edited, and expected to be released mid-February.

He has also published The Power of Six, a collection of short sci-fi stories that include his award-winning short story, I Come in Peace. This, too, has reached #1 on Amazon.

Nicholas lives in Athens, Greece, at a forest’s edge, with his wife, dog and two very silly cats, one of whom is always sitting on his lap, so please excuse any typos in his blog posts: typing with one hand can be hard. Mercifully, all of his books are professionally edited.
Blog Tour Links

Goodreads Event

Rafflecopter Giveaway

This event was sponsored by 4WillsPublishing.  To book your own blog tour, visit us on the web!

DAILY WISDOM 3/6/14

I love to read.  I have a library so extensive, that any book lover would fall in love with me..oops, I mean my books.  Since PARENTING is one of my two main forums, I always like to read books on children, books filled with inspiration on parenting and kids, yet not so much other parenting guides.  I think I pretty much got it right in that department (well, as right as we could ever hope to have it), so I tend to not lean unto other’s understanding of the parenting thing. 

I want to start sharing some PARENTING INSPIRATION with you guys from a few books that I have just lying around.  I hope these tiny bits of inspiration help you as they have me.  Please feel free to share this info with your family and friends.

~~~~

Image“You are ruining my life!”

That’s what the daughter screamed at her mother in the recent remake of Disney’s FREAKY FRIDAY. We took the girls to see that movie earlier this month, and all of us enjoyed it – especially me.  I could totally relate to the mother in the film.  I, too, am a member of the “You’ve ruined my life!” club.  My child has told me that more than once.

You know, on days when your beloved child looks you in the face and says, “You’re ruining my life,” you don’t want to be nice.  Actually, you want to be defensive.  You want to say, “Listen, kiddo, do you have any idea what I do for you every single day?”  You couldn’t make it without me!” (And yes, I have said those things.)

But, what the mother discovers in FREAKY FRIDAY is that she lacks understanding where her daughter is concerned and vice versa.  Once the mom and daughter see things through the other’s eyes, understanding comes.  If you’re a member of the “You’ve ruined my life” club, ask GOD to give you understanding so that you can see things through your kid’s eyes.  If you do, I have a feeling your membership in that club will soon expire.

MOM TO MASTER:

GOD, help me to understand my children the way that You understand me.  Amen.

Taken from Daily Wisdom For Mothers

 

For some great books on Parenting and Inspiration, check out the following:

“THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS,” 100 Tips On Raising Daughters Everyone Can’t Help But Love!

“SUGARCOATIN’ IS FOR CANDY & PACIFYIN’ IS FOR KIDS!

IT’S NATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION MONTH

For some, we spend more than a month trying to right these wrongs and searching for solutions to stop this vicious crime.  Which crime, you ask?  Any form of bullying is a crime in my eyes and it’s time that it became a crime in ALL eyes.  So I ask of you, for the next 14 days to  please take time out each day to  either research bullying topics to enlighten yourself and others, or speak to a child who is either being bullied or one you might know of who is a bully.  Is that asking too much?

Kids are dying because of the pain they are suffering at the hands of bullies.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH and it’s time for us to take a serious, collective stand against this crime,  and if you do nothing, you are a part of the problem.  So tell me, will you be a part of the problem OR are you a part of the solution?  What will you do?