I woke up this morning with a question in my head. Nonnie, are you critical of others? Now, don’t confuse this with being honest in a book review, please. (You all knew I would clarify that, right?) What I was asking myself was, do I find that I sit (or stand) in judgement of others? Because I posed this question to myself in my mirror, it was on my spirit that I share it with you and ask you the same question…
Do you find that you sit (or stand) in judgement of others? Do you find that you do it often?
Do you find yourself in a restaurant looking at someone who might have a few extra pounds on them, wondering why they are returning to the buffet table for a third time? Or, do you wonder why they are at a buffet in the first place?
Every time I decide to pen a blog post, it is always my intention to make it short, but laced with a heavy punch; one that you will feel, and one that will also tug at your heartstrings and leave you reeling from what I’ve said. My intention for this post will be no different – let’s just hope my emotions and my passion for this topic don’t take me in a different direction.
You all know I only blog when I have something of substance to share, so, here goes.
I am a huge fan of the Housewives franchise. Doesn’t matter where they are… the OC, New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, Dallas, and even Dubai, I am deep, deep, deep into the stories. At the start of last year’s RHOBH season, Sutton (a Caucasian woman), and Crystal (an Asian-American woman) were having a discussion, where Sutton was sharing a moment from her daughter’s childhood. She said that one day she looked out her window and her daughter was sitting in a pool with other little kids of all different races, and how that sight made her feel. I think she said it gave her hope for the world (and if she didn’t say that, I know it’s what she was trying to express). Now, I don’t remember the conversation verbatim, but Crystal turns to Sutton and says, “Don’t tell me you’re that girl who says I don’t see color.” Floored (the same as I was), Sutton replied, “Well, I don’t see color.” Boy did those last 4 words set off an internet storm!
No matter where I turned or logged on to the internet, I saw people being ripped to shreds because they also said, they didn’t see color. Well, hello, badass on board here, because I am unafraid and unapologetic when I say, “I don’t see color.” Now, I don’t know when that turned into a racist statement or when it took on a negative racial undertone, but I’m here today to break it down for all of you Lucys, who don’t understand what that statement means, and you need someone to ‘splain it to you.
I raised my daughters to not see color. You see, babies aren’t born knowing that the shade of their skin is different from the little friends they will eventually grow up to play with every day. That knowledge is taught. Of course, they’ll one day go off to school, and as they get older and start overhearing things they probably shouldn’t (i.e. adults having adult conversations around them, which is always a No-No in my book), they will begin to notice these differences – but the only way they’ll begin to feel that those differences matters, is if you, the parent, or the person who has the greatest influence over their lives, make it a big (negative) deal. They will ask you questions, and the way you answer those questions determines how they will move forward in the world when they see others whose skin tones are lighter or darker than theirs.
Saying “I don’t see color,” doesn’t mean that I don’t see that you’re black, or you’re white, or you’re Hispanic, or that you’re Asian… it simply means, the shade of your skin doesn’t matter to me – what’s in your heart and how you treat me and your fellow man, does.
So all of you who are triggered by hearing someone say, “I don’t see color,” take a chill pill because it’s not that serious. People are merely trying to express that they don’t care about the color of your skin, and they’re hoping that you don’t care about the color of theirs. We’re all people – we all bleed red, and we’re all from the same race – the human race. We have enough to worry about in this world, like our babies being killed when we send them off to school, our elderly being attacked in mall parking lots, and of course, real racism. You know what real racism looks like – it’s when we see black men being murdered a million times more than men of other races. Those are the things that should infuriate you; not hearing someone express how they love all people, no matter the shade of their skin.
Again, some of you need to calm down. And once you’re calm and have taken the time to regroup, do us all a favor… go out and put that energy into righting the real wrongs of this world.
Saying “I don’t see color” IS NOT a racist statement! Wouldn’t we all be so lucky if we lived in a world where I didn’t have to waste my time clarifying that?
I
DON’T
SEE
COLOR.
So, there.
How about you? Do you see color? Did you raise your kids to not see color? What does that statement mean to you?
I took the weekend to stew in the ridiculousness of these pompous asses…
The ridiculousness of your rulings…
The callousness of your attitudes toward the suffering of others…
Did you think about the girls who might become impregnated against their own wills?
Rape? Incest? Trafficking?
Did you factor those into your decision?
Did you think about how hard it would be for them to have to look into the face of that child for the rest of their lives, and see their abuser staring back at them?
Torture!
And now I hear you want to do away with birth control…
What’s next?
A woman’s right to vote?
Same-sex marriages?
Interracial marriages? Clarence Thomas, did you consider that when you voted? When you married a white woman? Watch out! You’re probably next on their agenda, and you sit on the same bench as they do.
We can’t say Gay? Are you going to start rounding up all the gay people, because, as Beyonce’ put it, “I Woke Up Like This?” No one decides to take on that kind of pain! But, even if it was a decision, who and what gives you the right to even comment on it?
LET PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIVES AS THEY SEE FIT! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
Slavery? You know, Black and brown people were counted as 3/5 of a person way back when, AND, it was a crime to teach them to read. Are we back-peddling to that place, too? Some of you continue to push the envelope here, but, for those stupid enough to think that you can get rid of black and brown people… I’ve got one word for ya… IDIOT. Whether some want to recognize it or not, black and brown people aren’t going anywhere, and black and brown people bleed red just like everyone else, which makes them EQUAL!
And I’m not afraid to say…
BLACK
LIVES
MATTER!
And I said it loud!
And if I offended you…
GREAT!
If you don’t believe in abortion, don’t have an abortion!
If you don’t believe in same-sex marriage, don’t marry someone of the same sex as you!
The audacity of your faith intruding on my rights!
Separation of church and state?
Ha! A joke!
I don’t need you forcing your religion on me!
Because I’m never going to force mine upon you.
How dare you attempt to tell me what I can and cannot do
with my child…
with my body…
with my life…
in my house!
HOW
DARE
YOU!
My silence is most often my fury stirring…
before my rage pushes to stand at the front of the line.
I believe in discipline. I believe in spanking. I don’t believe in corporal punishment. As a child whose mom signed the form every year for her children to be paddled if need be (it was the thing back then) and, as a child who has gotten a swat (one) with a paddle before (for no reason other than the entire classroom was punished for only a few talking when they shouldn’t have been), I am disgusted by the video below.
I have never had to discipline my children by hitting them. Don’t get me wrong, some kids are so disrespectful and horrible, I’d like to snatch their teeth from their mouths with my bare hands, but, I didn’t have those kinds of kids. I had the most well-behaved kids ever, and as adults now, they are the most amazing young ladies I’ve ever seen. (I still receive compliments from anyone who has ever met and had a brief conversation with either of my daughters.)
I received a similar form early on when my oldest began school, requesting permission to paddle if the need ever arose. It was standard that the note go home with every child. After receiving the form the first time and going to the school with my verbal response, I never received the form again. How dare you ask me to give my permission for you to abuse my beautiful babies.
What this woman did to this baby was abuse … and all I want is her phone number, since she’s daring the child to report her to the police.
I hope at the time of my posting, this school principal, #MelissaCarter from Florida, has been arrested. I also hope that her assistant is sitting in a cell right next to her. My final wish for the two of them, well, I’ll hold my tongue as my language just might border on offensive.
I am disgusted!
NOTE: If you want more on this story, use her hashtag above.
I’m often applauded for the way that I tend to deliver messages, intended to definitely make you feel as if you’ve been smacked, but yet, you can’t argue against the professional delivery. Yes, I do nice/nasty extremely well, when it is warranted. And I am fully aware that it’s a talent not everyone has been blessed with.
It is for this reason that I have so enjoyed the following video clip, sent to me by one of my members of theRave Reviews Book Club,with the message, “Nonnie, this reminds me of email messages you send out when a member or ex-member has done something so ridiculously unprofessional and downright childish and petty, online. By the way, I love those kind of messages from you! I always know those on the receiving end of them, deserved to be put back in their place … and you always do it so well! Thank you. You seem to always say what many of us won’t, but are surely thinking.”
Some of you are wondering why this message is here on ASK THE GOOD MOMMY. Well, here’s some Tuesday Mommy advice…
Parents, check your children while they are young, so that someone like Tiffany Cross won’t have to do it on national television when they are adults.
I have never seen or watched her before today, but the anchor below is my new #girlcrush…
Hello, friends, and welcome to the first day of RRBC’S 2020 WC&BE SPONSORS BLOG TOUR! Each year, the wonderful members of the club donate to this event to ensure that we are able to offer our $100 Amazon Gift Card Gift Basket raffle and we want to show them just how much we appreciate their kindness and generosity.
The Condensed Milk River where Sir Chocolate goes fishing has stopped flowing. The water creatures are losing their homes. Can Sir Chocolate and Lady Sweet solve this problem? Five lovely new recipes are also included.
Click HERE to also **LIKE** the book trailer on YouTube and share your thoughts with the author!
Ingredients
450 self-raising flour
1 tsp salt
100 g butter, cubed
125 ml (1/2 cup) chopped sun-dried tomatoes
100 g mature Cheddar cheese
125 g crumbled feta cheese
120 ml milk
120 ml water
1 tsp black pepper
Method
Preheat the oven to 220 degrees Celsius and grease a baking tin.
Sift the flour and salt into a mixing bowl. Add the butter and rub in using your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine crumbles. Add the cheese, pepper and sun-dried tomatoes and stir in.
Add the milk and water and mix until a soft dough forms.
Turn out onto a floured surface and roll out to 2.5 ml thick. Cut into circles using a round cookie cutter. Place on the baking sheet and brush with a little milk.
Bake for 10 – 15 minutes until the scones are golden brown. Serve warm with a little butter.
About Author, Robbie Cheadle…
Robbie Cheadle’s Sir Chocolate children’s picture books are written in sweet, short rhymes which are easy for young children to follow and are illustrated with pictures of delicious cakes and cake decorations. Each book also includes simple recipes or biscuit art directions which children can make under adult supervision. Her books for older children also incorporate recipes that are relevant to the storylines.
Friends, thanks for popping in to support Robbie today! Be sure to leave her a comment below to ensure that you’re entered into the drawing for a $20 Amazon gift card.Follow alongeach day of the tour, leave a comment at each stop, and get more entries into this drawing!
Until next time … show your kindness, show your decency, and please, if you’re an author, always, always, always, no matter the circumstance, let your professionalism shine through!
This morning I opened my eyes, rolled out of bed onto the floor, and onto my knees, to pray. This is a morning and nightly ritual in our family. My kids are adults now, but the last thing I say to them at night is, “Say your prayers, on your knees.”
I always begin my prayer with … “Thank you, Lord, for waking me up this morning …” but after saying those words this morning, my prayer was cut short as I jumped up and ran to my office to pen the piece below. (By the way, I did return to finish my morning prayer).
THE UNCERTAINTY OF LIFE
We lie down, but we don’t know if we’re going to wake up.
We leave the house, without the certainty that we’ll ever return.
We get behind the wheel of a car
Not to go far…
Just a few blocks from home.
But, who could have known
There’d be a drunk driver on the same road that day?
We befriend who will become our best friend, and we’re sure their loyalty to us is impenetrable.
But then, they betray us in the worst way …
The unspeakable is their crime.
‘Til this day, we can’t talk about it.
We meet and marry the person we are sure will walk with us … ‘Til Death Do Us Part’ –
But then, they break our heart.
The unimaginable pain left behind is too much to forgive,
So we part.
We bear children and make plans for their future.
Our dreams are what we hope theirs will be.
But then, they grow up, into their own minds, and begin to dream their own dreams for their lives.
And we, well, we have to live with what their dreams produce.
It is of little use
To fight them on their dreams.
We plan for them to marry those who will love and cherish them … protect them.
But what they bring home to us are those who hurt and abuse them.
So, we pray and ask God to watch over and blanket them with his protection, for ultimately they belong to him and are only on loan to us.
Trust … we must.
Such is the uncertainty of life.
There are but a few wonders of life that we can be sure of…
The rain comes from the clouds
The moon lights up the sky
The sun comes up each day
We’ll live and then we’ll die.
~Nonnie Jules
I hope you enjoyed this piece of what I call a life reflection. Every thought, gave me pause.
Welcome back, friends! I’m honored today to host the final day of RRBC’s “SPOTLIGHT” Author, the sweetheart, Robbie Cheadle! Unfortunately, this post was scheduled for another blog but their internet is down so I have been honored to open and close her tour. Let’s all welcome Robbie back to ASK THE GOOD MOMMY! The last time she was here was March of 2020 for her WHEN THE BOMBS FELL tour.
Now, I’ll turn it all over to our guest blogger, Robbie…
Open a New Dooris a poetic peep into the life of the poet, Robbie Cheadle and her co-author, both of whom live in South Africa.
The book is divided into four categories: God bless Africa, God bless my family and friends, God bless me and God bless corporates and work. Each part is sub-divided into the good, the bad and the ugly of the two poets’ experiences, presented in rhyming verse, free-style, haiku and tanka, in each of these categories and include colourful depictions of their thoughts and emotions.
The purpose of this book of poetry is encapsulated in the following tanka and haiku poems: What drives me to write? To share my innermost thoughts The answer is clear It’s my personal attempt To make some sense of this world.
Inspiration blossoms Like the unfurling petals Of the Desert Rose
I promise is a rhyming verse poem about the serious subject of mental health and its impact on both the sufferer and their family and loved ones. This poem is written in the rhyming form A, A, B, B.
About My mind’s eye
This poem highlights the difficulties experienced by the families of people who suffer from chronic post-traumatic stress disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder. The needs of the sufferer can be very invasive and seem selfish as their anxiety rises and the need for others to participate in their rituals and compulsions increases.
My mind’s eye
Words, like small pebbles, drop into my resting mind,
his own needs and desires make him emotionally blind,
no consideration for others, or ability to wait, it would seem,
it’s like a physical assault, as I try and shake off my dream.
It feels so utterly selfish, it makes me completely irate,
I react negatively to his questions, which winds him up into a state,
annoyance boils up inside me, makes my stomach churn,
I always end up capitulating, so why then, don’t I learn.
His bright and agile mind is really most deceiving,
results in a lack of understanding and others not believing,
if it was obvious, this incapacity showing on the outside,
the gulf between experiences, mine and theirs, wouldn’t be so wide.
As the source of stress nears, the questioning intensifies,
this is the self-calming technique, on which he most relies,
it is also the most invasive, and causes the most tension,
I confirm that I promise and try to limit any further extension.
A relaxed and happy home, I have heard of such a place,
a desire so strong, it is one I can almost taste,
as he starts along the uphill path of his teenage years,
I feel my own will be fraught with concern and tears.
***
AUTHOR BIO:
Roberta Eaton Cheadle has published nine children’s books under the name of Robbie Cheadle. She has branched into writing for adults and young adults and, in order to clearly separate her children’s books from her adult books, is writing for older readers under the name Roberta Eaton Cheadle. Roberta Eaton Cheadle has published two novels for YA and adult readers and has contributed to seven anthologies.
Friends, thank you for dropping by to support Robbie on the last stop of her tour. To catch up with the rest of her 7-day tour, please visit the “SPOTLIGHT” Author forum on the RRBC site and don’t forget to pick up a copy of her book above! Lastly, we ask that you LIKE and SHARE this post, as well as the “SPOTLIGHT” Author page to your social media, to enhance Robbie’s support!
What did you think of Robbie’s poetry? She’d love to hear from you in the comments below!
***
If you’re seeking amazing support from the most awesome literary community around, we invite you to join us atRave Reviews Book Club, where author support is simply grand! We’ve put hundreds of authors on the map from name-recognition alone and we can do the same for you! We’re more than just a club – we’re family, where everyone knows your name and works to promote you just as hard as they work to promote themselves!
***
For more interesting content, please click the FOLLOW button on the sidebar widget!
This morning I logged onto my Twitter and I find this. It was so moving and so incredibly heartbreaking, I could not take another step without sharing this with you. I’m a parent of a college student. I’m a parent of a college athlete. And as a parent who loves all, I feel all his pain.
Friends, we are living through some very difficult times. To me, it almost feels as if we’re all in this boiling pot and at any given moment, we’re all going to just boil right over. Systemic racism is a real thing and it’s clear by the marches and peaceful protests that are taking place right now all over the world, that it isn’t just the black community who is angry – everyone with a conscience is pissed at what is going on right before our eyes. And, because these protests and marches house more than just those from the black community, maybe now, change is really going to take place … positive change, that is.
I was excited when I learned that the network, BRAVO, had gathered and produced a show with cast members from various shows of their network, to discuss this racial climate we’re living…
Ask The Good Mommy 