The Empty Nest… #RRBC’s October-Ween Book, Blog & Trailer Block Party! @NonnieJules #Parents #Parenting #Kids

October_Ween

Hi, and welcome to the RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB’S 2019 BOOK, BLOG & TRAILER Block Party!

Here’s what I’m giving away today and all you have to do for a chance to win is leave a COMMENT, LIKE the page and SHARE it on social media before you leave:

(1) $10 Amazon Gift Card – Winner:  JOY NWOSU LO-BAMIJOKO

(1) paperback signed copy of THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS

TGMG on BN counter med

*EMPTY-NESTERS: 

parents whose children have reached adulthood and left home.

How many empty nesters do we have here today?  Well, I sadly pronounce that my hubby and I are now members of this class of parents – and, I must say, we are very reluctant participants of this group.

I can imagine that some of you were so very excited when your kids reached a certain age and moved away.  Many of you imagined your wonderful retirement years and had them planned out long before your kids were even teenagers.  And, there are those of you in this crowd today who couldn’t wait for the clock to strike midnight – you know, on their 18th birthday.  I must say, we are definitely not those parents.

No one gave us the memo that we’d have these babies, love them so fiercely, raise them to become amazing members of society and then one day…have to stand by and watch them fly the coop.  No – we missed that very important memo.  And, because someone at Parent Headquarters screwed up and forgot to clue us in on that part of our job – I demand a recall – I want my babies back home with me!

I’ve heard way too many parents spout the parent anthem:  “We raise them to grow up and become self-sufficient people so that they can take care of themselves.” No, we don’t – that’s not what I did – at least it’s not what I was intending to do.

confused-dog-pic-jpg

I raised my babies to be strong, driven, talented, respectful, loving and caring young ladies – I didn’t raise them to grow up and leave me.  I guess I was putting in all of that hard work so that I could sit back and enjoy it – here, at home.

Seriously though, I’m not equipped to handle this new stage of my life and I don’t want to be.  This is the saddest time in my life and if it were up to me, they’d be upstairs in their bedrooms (which by the way, are just as they left them…never to be changed in case I win this war and somehow get them to come back home) yelling down for me to make their favorite breakfast.  Oh, yes, I miss that, too.

Just as God created us all so very differently, he didn’t make us any more alike as parents.  I always knew that I’d be “that” mom – the one who cried when her kids moved away – the one who still, today, bursts into tears at times while merely sitting at her desk, working.  I’m sad because I want them near me all the time.  And, although some of you moms may not share or even understand my grave feelings of sorrow, it doesn’t make me want to disguise my pain or pretend any less, that I’m feeling anything other than what I am.  Again, I don’t want to be part of this club.  I didn’t sign up for it and I just want to know, how do I get out of this horrible membership?

Daddy’s sad, too, although he’s handling it a lot better than I am.  But, that’s understandable..he didn’t grow those babies inside of him so even though they favor him more, it doesn’t make the bond that I share with them any less profound.

I ask again – any empty-nesters in the house today?  If so, I don’t want to hear that it’ll get easier as the days go by (if truth be told, I don’t want it to get easier), but, I would like to know how you’re handling your own transition, or how you did in the past when it was your turn.  And for those of you who don’t know it yet, trust me, we ALL have a turn and if yours hasn’t come around yet, thank your lucky stars. 

{FACT:  Mother birds will push their young out of the nest if they are defective, or when it is time for them to leave. … Sometimes a nest gets crowded and one of the nestlings gets accidentally knocked out by a nestmate. But it is unfortunately all too common for many baby birds to be pulled out of the nest by predators.}

Push them out?  I’m not “that” mom, either!  Empty-nesting = absolutely no fun at all.

***

Friends, this was probably the very first book trailer I ever created (I’ve grown since then) and I need to re-do it to make it perfect, but, I’ve held off on doing it because I’m kind of attached to this one.  Stay tuned!

Thanks for dropping by today!

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To follow along with the rest of the block party, click HERE!

Join us at the RAVE REVIEWS BOOK CLUB so that you can be part of awesome events like these!

 

41 thoughts on “The Empty Nest… #RRBC’s October-Ween Book, Blog & Trailer Block Party! @NonnieJules #Parents #Parenting #Kids

  1. Hi Nonnie, your post resonates deeply. My kids (now adults with their kids) will forever be youngsters to me. When I’m with them, I keep seeing them as children and marvel at all they have accomplished. Time plays tricks on us, doesn’t it? 😀

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  2. Such a wonderful post. I always remember my grandad (aged 94) saying that my mum was still his baby, even though she was in her sixties at the time. He said she would always be his baby, whatever her age and that really resonated with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a touching piece, Nonnie. Change is always difficult. Especially when it involves our children. They may be adults, but we still remember the little ones that they once were. It never gets easy, knowing that life changes in ways that we’ll never be able to relive. They grow up, get jobs, earn degrees, find love, get married, have families of their own. They leave a hole in our routine. That hole will forever be a point of sadness. Just remember, you are still mommy. They’ll always need you, whether they are at home or away.

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  4. It wasn’t so hard on us when our oldest daughter left to go to college because we still had the younger one at home. But when the younger one left, it was like a death. My husband would stay outside until he had to come in for dinner and the quiet was almost unbearable. But, we adjusted and got to enjoy each other without children around and I’m so glad we had that time. My girls are amazing and like you, Nonnie, I am so proud of them. And now, I get to enjoy being a grandparent! That’s really fun!

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    • Jan, I’m often asked the question: “Aren’t you ready to be a grandmom?” My response is always “No.” I look at my babies and I still see little babies…I love them so much, I don’t even share that with grandkids – not yet. I’m a different kind of mommy, it seems, and like Cadyn (in my other blog post), I’m OK with that! LOL!

      I’m happy that you and hubby were able to grow into life without your babies. I’m too selfish where they’re concerned – I’m going to keep hope alive that one day, we’ll all be under the same roof again. 🙂

      Thanks for dropping in, Jan!

      Like

  5. My little man is just 13 years old, so I’m not part of that club yet. He has been saying that he was going to go away to college (specifically Denver because his favorite football team is the Broncos…lol!) since he was little, so I’ve prepared myself for him to go away for college (or at least, I think I’ve prepared myself). He also spends every other weekend with his father, so I’ve become accustomed to him going away for short periods of time. All that being said, I know when the time comes for him to move out, the silence that surrounds me will be deafening. 😥 I’ve still got four more years, so I’m keeping those thoughts at bay as much as possible.

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  6. Hi, Nonnie! I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time with this. The closest I can come to relating to your dilemma is when my niece, whom I am very close to, got married and moved to Japan. I went from seeing her every day to seeing her once a year during the Christmas holiday. :/ I miss her so much.

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  7. Hi, Nonnie. I don’t miss my children being at home partly because they live nearby and I am blessed to see them frequently. Besides, we would be quite crowded here with 5 extra dogs and 16 cats, not to mention our grandchildren and sons-in-law! However, I do miss deeply the children they were. It is as if they still exist in my heart at different ages: my 8-year old son building a world in his sandbox; my 12-year old gymnast daughter doing cartwheels all across the lawn, and my 16-year old daughter coming off the airplane in her Indonesian garb after her summer abroad. There are lots of other versions of them in my heart, too, and I miss those children dearly. Lovely post!

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  8. Being gay, I have never been and never will be a member of the empty nesters club. But I do sympathies with those who are. Extensive traveling and experiencing new adventures keep me and my husband happily youthful. Have a great day, Nonnie. And thank you for the sweet post.

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    • Hi, Bernard! Thanks for dropping by but your comment has confused me. Does being gay mean that you cannot be a parent? I’m aware of gay and lesbian people who are parents, so just looking for clarity behind your comment.

      Thanks!

      Like

  9. Happily, I’m not a member of the sad empty nesters club. I’m happy to be alone with The Boss and see the kids when we can. However, I do sympathize with your plight. By the way, I like The Good Mommies’ Guide trailer just the way it is! Thanks for the heart-felt post, Nonnie!

    Like

    • I agree, Ted, it is a fabulous thing to miss your kids – I can understand why some parents might not miss their kids, though. Some are pure terrors. This mom has an indescribable love for her babies and it’s warranted because they are awesome young people!

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Like

  10. Nonnie, I get choked up every time I hear that Good Mommie’s trailer. And that proverb was drummed into my head from my own mother. I didn’t get the chance to be a sad empty nester because my son wasn’t ready to leave right away. Especially since he graduated and was still seventeen when he did it. So he stayed close and enjoyed some time off before getting back in school, preferably close to home. We were extremely close until he got married and then he pulled away. So I never got the chance to be sad about his leaving. It was just him and me until his stepfather came along and he started to feel comfortable leaving and not being so protective of me.

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  11. Hi Nonnie,
    I’ll look at this from the opposite end–the daughter (now older than dust.) I was so anxious to leave home and go to college, then more college, then singing abroad then . . . on and on. Now, I wish I was still in the arms of my loving parents and siblings. Only one sister left. That saddens me.
    My parents weren’t perfect, but they did their best and there was always love.
    Nice blog and lovely trailer.

    Patricia A. Guthrie

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m also a sad empty-nester. I have my Maltese to keep me company, but I’m still depressed. I became a stay-at-home mother. I did everything with my two girls. They didn’t want to stay home on Saturday nights, so we took them with us. We went shopping or to the movies. I was happy as long as they were with me. They were the best years of my life. Now, they are over.
    After my first daughter got engaged, I knew it was time to wean myself from them. I had given up my career in finance. I decided to pursue writing. My empty hours are filled with writing prose and poetry. It helps, but I still miss my babies.
    I hope this answered your question.

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    • Susanne, yes, it is sad. Funny how parents react differently to these situations…but, as always, I’m in a class all by myself or in a very small class of parents who admit to feeling the way that we do.

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Like

    • Hi, Cassidy! I always tell my kids that they can be happy after I’m dead but right now they should do the things that keep me happy. They just stare at me, like, “We think she’s serious.” (I am).

      So glad you’re a stronger Mommy in the “release” department. I’m not there.

      Thanks for dropping in!

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Yes, we are empty nesters and understand how you feel. We moved to Austin to be near our highly successful daughter. She is an exec at an excellent company and is as strong, confident, and happy as we envisioned when she came into this world. We made the move so we could see her more often and that is what is happening so we are all happier.

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      • I felt the same way, Nonnie. It was hard when my youngest moved out, although I’ve had one come back a couple of times. I have such wonderful memories of our family together. Now I have grandkids and I enjoy them in a way that adds so much to our lives. This post touched me.

        Like

  14. Hi, Nonnie, the “Ask The Good Mommy,” was the second of your books that I read. I remembered, taking a lot of notes while reading that book. I hope it is still going strong. Congratulations on your tour.

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    • Hi, Joy! It is an amazing book filled with really great tips if I say so myself. Thanks for reading it. The tips there are the reason I love them so much – they’re so amazing, you can’t help but love them!

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Like

    • Hi, Nonnie. I’m so sorry I was late to your party, but I’m glad I was able to swing by and check it out.
      I was thrilled when my seeing-eye son moved out to live with his girlfriend. First off, he’d never shown any real interest in dating, so I was thrilled he actually had a girlfriend.Secondly, we rented the room three days later to someone who isn’t nearly as contrary as the kid can be, so it’s much more peaceful around here now. All in all, our empty nest is a good thing. 😀

      Like

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