“I Don’t See Color,” @NonnieJules @SuttonBStracke @RRBC_Org @RRBC_RWISA @Tweets4RWISA @4WillsPub #racism

Every time I decide to pen a blog post, it is always my intention to make it short, but laced with a heavy punch; one that you will feel, and one that will also tug at your heartstrings and leave you reeling from what I’ve said.  My intention for this post will be no different – let’s just hope my emotions and my passion for this topic don’t take me in a different direction.

You all know I only blog when I have something of substance to share, so, here goes.

I am a huge fan of the Housewives franchise.  Doesn’t matter where they are… the OC, New Jersey, Atlanta, Beverly Hills, Dallas, and even Dubai, I am deep, deep, deep into the stories.  At the start of last year’s RHOBH season, Sutton (a Caucasian woman), and Crystal (an Asian-American woman) were having a discussion, where Sutton was sharing a moment from her daughter’s childhood. She said that one day she looked out her window and her daughter was sitting in a pool with other little kids of all different races, and how that sight made her feel. I think she said it gave her hope for the world (and if she didn’t say that, I know it’s what she was trying to express).  Now, I don’t remember the conversation verbatim, but Crystal turns to Sutton and says, “Don’t tell me you’re that girl who says I don’t see color.” Floored (the same as I was), Sutton replied, “Well, I don’t see color.” Boy did those last 4 words set off an internet storm!

No matter where I turned or logged on to the internet, I saw people being ripped to shreds because they also said, they didn’t see color.  Well, hello, badass on board here, because I am unafraid and unapologetic when I say, “I don’t see color.”  Now, I don’t know when that turned into a racist statement or when it took on a negative racial undertone, but I’m here today to break it down for all of you Lucys, who don’t understand what that statement means, and you need someone to ‘splain it to you.

I raised my daughters to not see color.  You see, babies aren’t born knowing that the shade of their skin is different from the little friends they will eventually grow up to play with every day.  That knowledge is taught.  Of course, they’ll one day go off to school, and as they get older and start overhearing things they probably shouldn’t (i.e. adults having adult conversations around them, which is always a No-No in my book), they will begin to notice these differences – but the only way they’ll begin to feel that those differences matters, is if you, the parent, or the person who has the greatest influence over their lives, make it a big (negative) deal.  They will ask you questions, and the way you answer those questions determines how they will move forward in the world when they see others whose skin tones are lighter or darker than theirs.

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Saying “I don’t see color,” doesn’t mean that I don’t see that you’re black, or you’re white, or you’re Hispanic, or that you’re Asian… it simply means, the shade of your skin doesn’t matter to me – what’s in your heart and how you treat me and your fellow man, does.

So all of you who are triggered by hearing someone say, “I don’t see color,” take a chill pill because it’s not that serious.  People are merely trying to express that they don’t care about the color of your skin, and they’re hoping that you don’t care about the color of theirs.  We’re all people – we all bleed red, and we’re all from the same race – the human race.  We have enough to worry about in this world, like our babies being killed when we send them off to school, our elderly being attacked in mall parking lots, and of course, real racism.  You know what real racism looks like – it’s when we see black men being murdered a million times more than men of other races.  Those are the things that should infuriate you; not hearing someone express how they love all people, no matter the shade of their skin.

Again, some of you need to calm down.  And once you’re calm and have taken the time to regroup, do us all a favor…  go out and put that energy into righting the real wrongs of this world.

Saying “I don’t see color” IS NOT a racist statement!  Wouldn’t we all be so lucky if we lived in a world where I didn’t have to waste my time clarifying that?

I

DON’T

SEE

COLOR.

So, there.

How about you?  Do you see color?  Did you raise your kids to not see color?  What does that statement mean to you?

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16 thoughts on ““I Don’t See Color,” @NonnieJules @SuttonBStracke @RRBC_Org @RRBC_RWISA @Tweets4RWISA @4WillsPub #racism

  1. Thank you Nonnie for sharing. It is funny how terms change overtime to the ears of some then become raging issues by the mouths of those who should listen.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi, Rox! You’re right – I wish someone would still answer my question. When did this become a racist statement? My child did weigh in on this and she said to me, that depending on who it is coming from, it can be, and sometimes is, perceived as a racist statement. She said in another context, it is the person who might be viewed as racist, making the statement to get those who don’t know them very well, or any better, to believe that they are accepting of all people. So, with that knowledge from a younger generation, I did a little research, and here are some articles that I found:

      -https://level.medium.com/when-white-people-say-they-dont-see-color-5b57a5bb933a

      -https://ideas.ted.com/why-saying-i-dont-see-race-at-all-just-makes-racism-worse/

      The writers of these articles are entitled to feel how they want to feel and they are also entitled to interpret this statement as they want, just as I am also entitled to interpret it as I want, and I stand by my feelings as I have laid them out above.

      In the first article, the young man said that “if you look at me and don’t see color at all, then you don’t see me.” So, does that mean that if you look at a Caucasian person and say you don’t see color, that you don’t see them? Or when you look at an Asian person and say that, you don’t see them? That stance could be taken in every situation if you ask me.

      Thanks for dropping by, Rox 🙂

      Like

  2. My (now adult) children attended an inner-city school district. They were surrounded by children of many races, mixed races, nationalities, backgrounds, religions, etc. Frequently, I would have visitors from Vietnam, Afghanistan, Pakistan, etc., in my living room, explaining their customs to my ever-curious white Irish-skinned son. “What kind of food does your country like? What does your country look like?” he would ask them. They would COMPARE the color of their skin. He would tell them about how he would get terrible sunburns in the summer; they might say they didn’t have that problem. When he was in day care at nine months old and in a stroller, we were in Sears. He was moving his arms up and down and trying to say something. I looked down the aisle and saw another little boy, about the same age, doing the same thing. It turns out it was an Israeli boy who was in his same day care. They knew each other and were excited to see one another in the store.

    My daughter stood up for other children in her school and high school when her friends made fun of those students for not having nice clothing and having to get free school lunches. This led her to become a teacher in inner-city Boston. She had NO WHITE STUDENTS AT ALL in those schools; she was the only white face in her classroom. Her first master’s degree is in urban education (she has two others: one in English as a second language, the other in special education). She stays home with her three young children now. She still hears from her former students who tell her that her efforts when they were in middle school were the reason they actually believed that they COULD go to college.

    One of the most difficult thing for both of them now is that their own children are not exposed to people of different races and backgrounds. My son’s first college had few if any people who looked different than he did, so he changed colleges. After having been in an inner-city district, learning to speak Spanish and playing football with kids of all backgrounds, he hated being in a homogenous environment. Now he lives in New Hampshire without being able to expose his own children to diversity. Same with my daughter and her children. They’re in a part of Michigan where diversity is not available to her children. They talk about it at home, and, won’t the teachers in their new school be amazed in the fall when her children tell them that the Pilgrims weren’t really magnanimous to the Natives who were indigenous to Massachusetts, because that’s what my daughter has taught them!

    It’s possible to let color not be a factor in judging people, but I believe it must begin at a young age. If we wait to demonstrate that until children have already been influenced by comments and opinions, especially in this day and age where white supremacy is overt and subliminal, it’s already too late. That’s why it’s our job, as parents and grandparents, to start early–even with the first books we read–to show why we can all get along, and why it’s to society’s benefit to do so. I don’t want to hear someone say, “Where’s my African-American?” in a sea of White faces. I want to see that happen organically. We can do it. Nonnie’s blog says why.,

    Sorry I’m so verbose today. I spent the weekend surrounded by people of all races at the Baseball Hall of Fame and had a wonderful time with EVERYONE.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi, Wanda! As I said, they aren’t born with the knowledge that there is a difference, although that difference is so small – the shade of skin. If parents don’t start out handlng this delicate situation properly, then issues arise. When you are intentional in ensuring that your children live a life of diversity, that’s when our world has the greatest chance of survival and unity.

      It’s funny how many come by my blog posts and don’t leave a comment or even like the post, because they don’t want anyone to know that they were here. I write about more than just books. I write in hopes that I am encouraging each of us to become better – better in the way we live; better in the way we think; better in the way we treat our fellow man. The folks who have left a comment below, I can always be assured that they are unafraid to share their opinions on these topics that might be uncomfortable, but topics we need to address as a society.

      Thanks, fearless Wanda!

      Liked by 1 person

    • Wanda, you are true to who you are and it is reflected in your kids. Your spirit is genuine and I am glad to know you. 😌

      Like

  3. As a retired teacher (grades 2-6), I used to make this observation in students. Most of the children in the primary kids did not see color; they simply wanted to be friends with others. It was such a sweet and innocent quality about that age. By the time students were in 5th and 6th grade, they were much more cognizant of differences, including color, popularity, clothing, and wealth. I can only surmise that this was learned behavior, which is quite sad when you think about it.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Pete! You are correct – it is a learned/taught behavior. You’re also correct in little kids grow up just wanting to have friends, they don’t care about skin color differences. Another thing, the generation of kids growing up today, they are so inclusive of everyone. I see them hanging out, all different shades of love, and just enjoying one another. My heart swells when I see this.

      I am strongly opposed to adults having grown-up conversations around kids. When they do that, they strip them of their innocence, and they put the weight of the world on their little shoulders as they try to mull over the harsh realities of the world that they’ve been exposed to, simply by adult conversation that should have never been had in their presence.

      Pete, I bet you were an awesome teacher! Great job, and thanks for dropping by!

      Liked by 1 person

    • My daughter taught middle school. She had no White students at all in her school. She is White. On the first day of school, she sat down with the kids and told her story (and our family’s), about how we had a drug addict in our family, about how we had to take in her children because the drug addict was in jail. The kids were astonished that someone who looked like her could have the same problems they did (i.e., someone in the family who’s in jail). By opening up her life to them, she crossed a bridge into their lives. She also spoke a little Spanish and asked them to help her practice Spanish with her because she was rusty. They were excited to do that. Find common ground and walk on it!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s crazy how we’ve become a society who becomes triggered so easily and rushes to jump on a bandwagon to tear apart the one who triggered them. From your example, it sounds as if that person was simply expressing that her daughter had chosen her friends because she enjoys their company, not because of the color of their skin. Whatever words she chooses to use to express that is fine by me. Her intention and her decision to embrace diversity should have been the focus. Society can be so exasperating! Lol! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Yvette! You’re right – everyone is so easily “triggered” these days. I’m starting to dislike the word, by the way.

      And I’m with you, as long as intentions are out of love, especially when it is inclusive, I’m all for it. Again, I don’t know how saying “I don’t see color” could be offensive to anyone. But again, there are always those looking for problems in areas where none exist.

      Thanks for dropping by! I can always count on you being unafraid to share your opinion on serious topics such as this one 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You don’t have to talk to your kids to teach them about different cultures. They can pick up everything you say or do by watching you when you least expect them. So be true to yourself and it will reflect in your children’s behavior. I don’t know if we will ever get rid of racism but we can start by not tolerating it in any of its many forms. You do have the power to hold those responsible accountable.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, Shirley! I know how we can get rid of racism, by doing what you just said, not tolerating it in any of its many forms. But, we would ALL have to do that. Not just some of us.

      You are one who I also always expect to share your opinion on these discussions. Thank you for being unafraid to do so 🙂

      Like

      • My pleasure Nonnie.

        I’m not politically correct, so what comes out of my mouth is the real truth. Lol.

        Like

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