#Hate, When Does It End? #RRBC #Parenting

Nothing breaks my heart more, than to hear a story about a child being hurt.  Whether they were hurt in a car accident, abused by an adult, mistreated verbally or even shoved on the playground…my heart feels it all, and their pain is mine…in a huge way.

It is now the year 2016, and we are still having the same discussion about Bullying that we had 10 years ago.  We are going to continue to have this discussion, simply because parents are choosing to not have the “proper” conversations with their children, in their homes.

Kids today are still not being taught empathy, compassion, patience, sensitivity and the simple difference between right and wrong.  And because of this lack of teaching, other kids are being bullied, murdered and even forced into feeling that the only way out of their pain, is to commit suicide.  How long are we going to stand by and watch the innocent suffer?  What is it going to take to get YOU to stand up and voice your displeasure in the direction of those who are offending?  Change can only come when we all take a stand…  not just one of us, not just a race of us, not just a gender of us, and not just a class of us.  It’s going to take ALL of us to make a difference.  And since that’s all of us who bleed ‘red,’ YOU are included in that number.  We must go back to being a village when it comes to raising our children, or we are destined to be tagged as a nation of monsters.

ALL LIVES REALLY DO MATTER…

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*White lives

*Black lives

*Brown lives

*Grey lives

*Straight lives

*Gay lives

We matter all.

I know this is old, but I’d like you to take a peek at the BULLY CHAT.  If you’re not moved to make a change after watching this, there’s something wrong…and you should stand in front of a mirror and take a long hard look at the person staring back at you.

Better parenting = better children.  What’s your take on that?

*For more parenting and positive inspiration, please #Follow me on Twitter @AskTheGoodMommy.

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“THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING ALMOST PERFECT DAUGHTERS”

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9 thoughts on “#Hate, When Does It End? #RRBC #Parenting

  1. I ran a school with zero tolerance of bullying, and that starts at the top. You have to have a headteacher/principal who makes it clear that we all go to school to learn (that includes the teachers) and NEVER to be afraid. To bring that about you have to build trust in the children that you -the adults – have the power to make it stop, and make it stop 24/7 anywhere in the world. The children give you that power when they trust you enough to tell you who is hurting them because they have seen how effective you can be in stopping it happening to others.
    The mantra that you don’t tell – you don’t ‘grass’ – was invented by bullies in order to preserve their power over victims. The bully’s power is taken away as soon as they know that if they try it ever again with that person, an adult with the power to make life difficult for them will get to know about it and they won’t like the consequences.
    I made it clear that all pupils in my school had my protection from bullying and abuse of any kind from anyone 24 hours a day, anywhere in the world (NOT just the school, but on the bus, on the street, in the park, in their own homes). All they had to do was come and tell me: because if they didn’t tell me I wouldn’t know; but once they had told me, they could stop worrying about it because I would stop it happening. As the headteacher I had the power to make that happen – once I had earned the trust of the children by not letting a single one of them down.
    I’m sure schools are a lot better now at recognizing the problem and dealing with it than they were when I was a child. I suffered badly from bullies for years, before my father took me to boxing club and I learned how to fight. Children shouldn’t have to learn how to use violence to protect themselves against violence. Access to a trustworthy and ‘powerful’ adult should be the right of every child growing up.

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  2. I left a comment on the video about it. My twins (my baby brothers) suffered at the hands of a bully(s) in the same Catholic school I attended. I just found out about it recently. One twin suffered with schizophrenia at the age of 8 and he died at 18. The other twin suffered at 12 and he is still with us dealing with it and living in an independent home where he gets support dealing with his life. I think I suffered most when Milton died so young. I started having panic attacks from the stress of it all. Melvin, the other twin, woke up with a gray patch at the front top of his head. They were identical and what happens to one seem to happen to the other. I covered some of it in my latest book. I never understood why the teachers and people in authority let it go on. You can’t tell me that they didn’t know it was happening and they are just as guilty as the perpetrators.

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  3. Sad to say, but most issues that involve children being hurt seem to keep on being brushed under the carpet, despite it being a conversation the world desperately needs to have. And, of course, the explosion of social media just makes opportunities for bullying more prolific. A child who bullies, is usually trying to make up for a lack (at best) or some form of abuse (at worst). Time and again, when working in child psychiatry, a kid would be admitted as a ‘problem child’, and it turned out to be a ‘whole family’ issue. Schools need to take a much firmer stance on bullying policies, and parents need to be given the help and education they need to rectify the problems that have led to their child becoming a bully in the first place. Nothing happens in isolation, and neither will a cure. Thanks for this post, Nonnie. 🙂

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  4. Yes, it’s hard to believe a “civilized” society would be raising children (and politicians) who are overt bullies. Many parents don’t realize how important it is to model and teach compassion, how important it is to offer help in “service” to others. Children can help out with school, family, hospital, SPCA or church activities. They also need exposure to other cultures, other religions, other philosophies. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.”–Mark Twain

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  5. It should not be necessary to blog about this topic in 2016, but the truth is that many wonderful kids are bullied into suicide every year. I firmly believe that children who are bullies learn it from home- where they are bullied by one or both of their parents – who were bullied at home as well. It is a horrifying cycle that must be broken. We must push societal leaders to adopt the position that any and all forms of bullying are not to be tolerated and to put effective deterrents in place.

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