Now We’re Putting #Disrespect On A Pedestal? #RRBC

OK, so the latest nonsense in this no-parenting Parenting, which is ringing loudly in my ears and almost causing me to go deaf, is the theory  (and I quote) that “Kids who talk back, become more successful adults.”  Well, this “nonsense” infuriates me so much, that lots of choice words come to mind each time I read that line, but, since this is a kid-friendly blog, I will keep them to myself.

It should come as no surprise to all who have read my parenting guide, “THE GOOD MOMMIES’ GUIDE TO RAISING (ALMOST) PERFECT DAUGHTERS…100 Tips On Raising Daughters Everyone Can’t Help But Love”

TGMG on BN counter med

…that I don’t agree with this “nonsense” at all.  (I will continue to refer to it as nonsense, by the way, as that’s exactly what it is).

“Kids talking back is a perennial complaint of parents,” states an article that I read on Yahoo recently.  Well, that complaint is valid, and kudos to those parents who are upset about this and not embracing the “nonsense.”

This Yahoo article quotes the experts who say that, “This behavior is developmentally healthy for kids.”  I would have to disagree and say that, as an expert, “This behavior in my home would be extremely unhealthy and could prove to be detrimental to a kid’s teeth.” (Yes, I said it!)  I mean, kids do still lose their teeth by methods that aren’t traditionally used in dentist’ offices, right?

My very own teenager, who, when I shared this theory and article with her, looked at me and said:  “Mommy, that’s just an excuse for certain parents to let their kids get away with talking back to them because they don’t want to take the time, or they don’t know how to properly discipline them.”  (#ProudMommyOnBoardHere!  As they say, “From the mouths of babes.”)  Even she, as a child, understands this point, so, why can’t people twice and three times her age get it?

I have two of the most successful daughters in all the world.  My teenager is on track to graduating Magna Cum Laude in her school;  she’s a literal genius (smarter than a whip and sharper than many adults I know);  she’s a phenomenal athlete,  and she’s honest and uberly respectful.  Never talked back a day in her life!

Then, there’s my adult daughter:  on her way to getting her two masters degrees, busy as a bee in very constructive ventures, highly sought after by every employable agency in her field, doesn’t sleep around with every Tom, Dick and Harry (YES! An adult Lady who still has her virginity…go figure), and uberly, uberly respectful.  Never talked back a day in her life!  Never used a profane word in her life!  Yet, out of all her adult counterparts who are her age or older, I can’t name one who is as successful as she is.  I can’t name one who has a reputation like she does.  I can’t put my finger on one who is as trusted and respected as she is.

And then, there are their parents, my husband and I…successful business owners, highly regarded in our community, and yet, neither one of us ever talked back to our parents…we dared not!

Are we still going with what these experts say?  Has anyone heard of the entitled kid from Dallas, Texas with “Affluenza” Disease? (What a joke).  You know, the one who killed four people while driving drunk and was then only given a slap on the wrist (probation)? The one who then spit in the face of the same justice system who gave him that slap on the wrist and fled the country to avoid charges after he violated that probation?  The same one whose mom, when asked how she disciplined him when he acted up (talked back), said she took his toys and games away.  Really?  That’s ALL you did?  Hmmm…no wonder.  I would stake the life of everyone that I hold dear that he talked back!  And probably was using those choice words I withheld above by the time he was 2 years old and could mouth them!  I think we should start measuring success by more than just the size of our bank accounts.

So, I’m sure you all can see why I’m going to have to agree with my teenager, who says that this “nonsense” is just another excuse for certain parents to get away with raising their kids improperly, OR, not even raising them at all.  The sad part about all of this “nonsense,” is that these same kids who are being allowed to talk back, in hopes that they will become more successful in their adult lives, are being set up to fall into a few (sometimes deadly) traps:

*What do you think is going to happen when they are in daycare or after-school care with people who have low tolerance for kids who talk back or disobey?

*What do you think is going to happen when they’re in classrooms at school with teachers who have zero tolerance for kids who talk back or disobey?

*Lastly, what do you think is going to happen when they are stopped by a law enforcement officer who has the power to strip them of every right they have, on the spot, just because you allowed them to “mouth off” to you?

We need to remember, that what we allow in our homes, is not necessarily going to go over well outside of our home. Then, we need to also keep in the forefront of our minds, that everyone isn’t in love with our kids the way we are.  And lastly, never forget, that evil sometimes walks the earth day and night, in the form of daycare workers, teachers, and law enforcement officers.  So, I would advise you to teach your kids to be respectful, manner-able, hardworking, and driven Go-getters.  In my eyes, all signs that they are properly armed with the tools they’ll need to become successful adults.

My beautiful daughters have never been spanked, cussed at, berated or made to feel anything but the most staggering kind of love in all the world, yet, I am a firm believer in discipline, teaching kids right from wrong, and teaching respect, manners and accountability.  I am, because it’s the way I was raised.  I am, because I looked around this earth and saw what was being “bred” to walk and rule our land, and I refused to bring more of that “mess” into the world.  I am, because I know that we can do better as a society and as Parents.

My friends laugh when I see kids in the store throwing fits and tantrums, talking back, or stories on television, such as this one about the Affluenza Disease, and I shake my head and say:  “God gave me what he knew I wouldn’t strangle.”  It’s funny, but I do believe it’s true.

So, these are the kinds of kids that I have:

1Happy Daughter

Because the other kind…

1Mom yelling at daughter

…wouldn’t last one second in my home!

My latest quote: 

“I’m not being judgmental, but you’re not parenting properly.”  ~ NJ Original

Again, “YES, I SAID IT!”

NJ Cover Design-1

…and I didn’t bite my tongue or stutter when I did!

“Teach and discipline your kids properly, before the world and law enforcement steps in to do it for you.  Unfortunately, you might not like the lessons they have in store for your child!

~ Nonnie Jules

So, do tell, what is your take on this style of parenting?  Are/Were your kids allowed to talk back?  Do you think success is only measured by how much money is in someone’s bank account?  C’mon, be honest.  We don’t judge here.

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13 thoughts on “Now We’re Putting #Disrespect On A Pedestal? #RRBC

  1. I was disgusted by that Affluenza teen and his out-of-control mother. I could not believe her. Nonnie your article is necessary to keep the light focused on this topic. When you raise good children it impacts the world positively. If you raise them bad, they are detrimental to society and themselves and somebody always pays a price good or bad for having crossed paths with them. Lots of kids are not being raised well.

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    • I whole-heartedly agree with all that you have said, Shirley. You definitely aren’t afraid to share what you’re thinking, which is why I always appreciate you stopping by my blogs.

      You’re a JULE!

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  2. You’re absolutely right. Sometimes I think we are OUR of our MINDS! Isn’t there a little something called, “parental responsibility’? Isn’t it our job as parents to teach our children the acceptable way to voice their opinions? Self-expression is an important skill, but skills have to be taught. Too often a parent responds to their child’s disrespectful comment with a louder and more disrespectful comment. Where’s the lesson in that?

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  3. More gobbledygook from the experts, hunh? I talked back to my mother once and when I came home from the hospital… (Love that joke).
    I allowed my girls to express their opinions after we had both calmed down. Once or twice I even reversed my decisions. However respect for their parents, teachers, and other adults was the standard. No talk back, ever!
    They are highly successful women now! Single (for any eligible young men reading this), professional, and homeowners! Great post, Nonnie!

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  4. Affluenza Disease – ROFL!!! Love it! 🙂 I come from a generation that was one of the last to experience corporal punishment at school. Yes, I got punished, but only once. Reason why? Because I knew when I got home I’d be hauled over the proverbial coals again – without bad words or a single touch. So, yes, being kept in line didn’t do me any harm, because I learned to think about the consequences of my actions and to follow the philosophy of ‘do no harm to others’.
    Thanks for saying it every time it needs saying, Nonnie! 😀

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    • Jan, because my daughters, who are loving, kind, respectful, etc. have to live in a world with these kids who are being raised in this way, it scares me, and I don’t have a problem voicing my opinion or my concern about it…always.

      Thanks for stopping by sharing your opinion on this serious issue, Jan! I’m always interested in hearing what everyone has to say, even if it doesn’t mesh with what I have said. You’re awesome!

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  5. Agree with all your points. Thankfully my two are respectful, and so are their children. Problem is respect comes from good parents, and these days too many parents have little respect for each other or society so their children have bad role models. Add on bad behaviour on TV and other outlets, and a child today has a uphill battle to avoid becoming bad. Parents have to keep on their children’s backs to keep them on the good road, and it is tough. Good Parenting skills don’t appear overnight. They have to grow in teenagers. Problem is how to get teenagers engaged with it.

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