WHY DO WE GET SO MUCH PLEASURE OFF THE PAIN OF OTHERS?

Before I get started, I need to share a glossary of names, just so that you can follow along with me:

Teresa Guidice = Bravo TV Reality star from the Real Housewives of New Jersey

Danielle Staub = ex-Bravo TV Reality star from the Real Housewives of New Jersey

Now, let’s get started…

I’m a reality TV junkie and there are just some shows I will not miss:  “Real Housewives” of (anything), “Mob Wives” (when I can remember they’re on), and a few others.  I even travel both ends of the spectrum, by “Keeping up with the Kardashians” (not because of their poor behavior, but because of their closeness as a family), and also “The Braxton Family Values” (because of the way they love each other and I so love their mother’s influence in their lives, even now that they’re adults).

Anyone who watches any amount of television, knows that today, January 5, 2015, was the scheduled day for Teresa Guidice, to turn herself in to federal prison to serve a 15 month sentence for wire and bank fraud, per the reports.  (Heck, I don’t know for sure what the crime was, I wasn’t there).

teresa-giudice-768

And although some are rejoicing at this day, I am extremely saddened by it.  Not for the reasons you might think, though, so let me explain.

I am no fan of Teresa Guidice.  I knew from day one when she came on the show, throwing around $50,000 on a child’s birthday party, making comments about how she couldn’t live in other people’s “used” homes because people were dirty, and traipsing around town digging up all the dirt she could on Danielle Staub, that it would all one day come back to haunt her.  Ever heard the saying:  “When you go to dig a ditch for somebody, you may as well dig two?”  That means, when you set out to cause someone harm, that harm WILL come back to you…maybe not in the same form, but believe me, a boomerang, is a boomerang, is a boomerang, and sometimes, that’s a big bite right out of your ass.

So, here’s the reason for my sadness…I am sad because I am a mother, and because I am the kind of mother I am, my heart bleeds for her daughters.  Even though I have watched and been turned off many times by her questionable antics, her poor adult behavior, and especially the way that I have witnessed her allowing that same poor behavior in her daughters, the one thing that’s crystal clear to me about this woman that I’ve never met, is she loves her children with all her heart.

Yes, I can hear some of you saying right now:  “Well, she should have thought of that before she committed a crime.”  And she should have but you know what, that still doesn’t lessen my pain for her children.  My heart cries out for any child I feel might hurt, even from just a knew scrape from a bike fall, but that’s just me.

So, guests, my question today is this:  “Why do some of us derive such pleasure and satisfaction off the pain of others?  Are our hearts so cold that we cannot feel another’s anguish and pain and allow that empathy for another to melt the ice?  Are we so jealous of what others have, that we lie in wait for their downfall?  What is it that drives us to laugh and spew such hateful words, even while knowing that there are children involved who WILL suffer from it all?”  WHY?

I remember when Danielle Staub asked Teresa,”Why did you go digging up my past?” A past which she had tried to put behind her, a past she never wanted her daughters to know about.  It was clear that Teresa didn’t care about the pain she was causing Danielle’s daughters at that time,  and so now, others are remembering that very episode and they will not allow their hearts to have any compassion for Teresa’s daughters. Yes, the boomerang has come back for Teresa, and now, her daughters will suffer a similar pain, a similar embarrassment, but a pain far worse than what was caused to Danielle’s daughters.  You see, Danielle had served her jail time before her daughter’s were born but Teresa’s daughters are here and fully aware of what’s going on and where their mom is today.  Their harsh reality and pain, will be to live life for a year plus without their mom.

Again, some of you are shrugging your shoulders and saying “So what?  There are other kids who have life a lot worse than Teresa’s kids who live in a $3.9 million home.”  I’m sure that’s true, but let us dig deep in our hearts to feel some compassion for these children.  They didn’t ask for any of this, so let’s not punish them for what their parents did.  What I really want to ask of you is this:  In the new year, let us resolve to not take pleasure of any kind in the suffering of others.  Let us be bigger than that.  When you turn on the news and you hear a story of someone who “made a mistake” (we all make them), let’s speak words of prayer for them instead of words of joyful jealousy.  Because, whether you’re willing to admit to it or not, that’s all it is.  They paraded their wonderful life on television, in front of you, and all the world to see and you just didn’t like it.  Heck, most often I don’t like it, but I’m so much bigger than the green-eyed monster (jealousy), and when I know there are kids who might be hurt in certain situations, I fall down on my knees and I pray for that family, that they make it thru whatever the situation is and I believe that my prayers are heard.

Remember, if you can’t help someone, don’t hurt them.  Always, always think about the children.  Are you one who gets pleasure off the pain of others?  C’mon, be truthful and let’s talk about it.

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4 thoughts on “WHY DO WE GET SO MUCH PLEASURE OFF THE PAIN OF OTHERS?

  1. I don’t watch the show or other reality shows. I believe it is probably reasons like this that many actors and actresses try to keep their own children out of the media, to protect them from being hurt by others. The world is a harsh place with many good people, unfortunately, there are also those who thrive by trashing others.

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  2. I don’t watch the show nor any others like it, so I vaguely know what you are talking about. I do watch Wendy Williams (I just love her) and I learn about these shows from her. If people stop watching the show, the children won’t be hurt because no one will know whats going on. I do agree that we should forgive and try not to hurt the children.

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  3. Like you, I hope for a better future for humanity where we look at each other with compassion. As Arianna Huffington points out in her new book “Thrive,” we all share the same mortality, that is, we all die. In the end, whether we were woman or man, Christian or Buddhist, for instance, or atheist, we all leave the earth in the same way. Over years as a meditator, I’ve found a sense of connectedness leads to compassion for all creatures. I applaud your compassion for her children. I hope that others follow your lead. Jennie

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  4. Reblogged this on Tea Talks… home of Helen Treharne, author : I write, I review, I rant and commented:
    Nonnie Jules hits it out of the park with this post that I just HAD to share. Now, I am not a Mommy. But this very interesting post asks a question that I find myself asking a lot (those who hang out in my “Soapbox Corner” section will know this) – why do people have to be so mean? Why do we derive such pleasure from someone being “caught out” or doing something wrong. In our celebrity driven culture we seem to take a perverse pleasure in building people up to throw missiles at them as soon as they become too successful or show the slightest sign they are human. We are all capable of making a mistake. Personally, I have made a lot. I hope that when I next make a massive one, someone isn’t there pointing a finger judging. Not only does it hurt the person who is at the end of your finger wagging, it hurts those around them. Whatever happened to, if you can’t say anything nice……..?

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